I must be mad.......but I am excited...

I registered today for the City to Bay Fun Run.

12km, from Elder park in the City, all the way to the beach at Glenelg.

I am excited, not so much at the doing of it, but by the fact that I feel totally capable.

Me?

A 12k fun run?

Fark. Things must be a changin'!

Birthing Goddess.....

I dreamt last night of one of my births. I didn't want to wake up, it was just wonderful to revisit.

I have had three beautiful children, and three beautiful blissful births.

My heart swells at the thought of just how lucky I have been with my births, and with my children.

On contemplation this morning, I realise that my body is SO BLOODY CLEVER!!

I have always felt some doubt in my body and its physical ability, but how can I doubt its talents when I recall my births and how bloody amazingly it delivered? Literally!

I have had a slack few weeks with a few too many little snacks.

Time to treat my birthing goddess body to a little more respect to reward it for what it has done for me........

Feel Good Music

I have had a rare "child free" day today.......and have indulged myself by playing MY music in preference to the Wiggles, Justine Clarke and Jay Laga'aia.

There are so many embarrassingly dated but feel good albums I have played today:

• Queen's Greatest Hits


• Dido's Life for Rent


• Take That's Greatest Hits


• John Cougar Mellencamp's American Fool


• The Footloose Soundtrack

And not forgetting my current personal favourite (you can laugh if you like, I don't care if I am perceived as a middle aged groupie.........) Carl Riseley's The Rise.

Be still my beating heart.

I have a great hair cut, a clean house, Carl on my stereo, and I am a happy girl today........

A good hair day.........

I will never aspire to have hair as beautiful as my daughters (long, dark red and wavy) but I have just treated myself to a long over due hair cut and colour........

It is SO true what they say: that a good hair cut can make you feel and million dollars.....

On top of the world today, as in the process of having my hair done, not only my hairdresser but also the apprentice and the owner of the salon all commented on my weight loss, which is SUCH a great feeling.........

Endorphins.....

I did 40 minutes of cardio and weight training today. It nearly killed me & my legs will kill me tomorrow, but it was SO great.

It is such a buzz to get that endorphin rush.

Hormones......they are so clever.......

Bit like the feeling I got after giving birth to be honest, LOL!

Talking of which, my little man is having his birthday today.

Charlie, little mate, I love you with all my heart, you rock my world.

Happy 3rd Birthday.

"When Your Heart is Hungry........."

I have just finished reading "Confessions of a Reformed Dieter" again, by A. J. Rochester.

In one of the final chapters she talks about her sessions with Nutcase, and how she finally gets that instead of roaming the kitchen to eat something, that she needs to nurture herself in another way.

I will find the passage and type it out later.

Anyway, the first time I read it, it evidently made no impression.

But the other night when I read it again, it really hit home.

I mean, I am a smart chick. Intellectually, of course I know that emotional eating is just mad, and serves negative purpose. A bit like I intellectually KNEW that having children would change my life totally, but I never EMOTIONALLY understood that until I took Olivia home with me from hospital for the first time and nearly had a nervous breakdown over the realisation!

So in theory, each time I have the urge to just eat to fill a hunger in my heart, I nurture myself with something else, would that work?

• Light an oil burner
• Make a glass of herbal tea
• Have a cuddle with one of the kids
• Have a cuddle with Andrew
• Have a bath
• Phone a lovely friend
• Write in this blog
• Listen to some hypnotherapy CD
• Read a novel
• Walk
• Do a page in my scrapbook
• Do some exercises
• Do a facial

Oh my, the list is endless..........

Worth me experimenting anyway........

When Your Heart is Hungry

The '70's here I come.........

Six years ago today.........

It is very rare I allow myself to reflect on this one, but it is six years ago today that I lost my first baby.

I cannot believe I am sitting here in snotty puddles over the anniversary of the loss.

It still hurts so badly.

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass us by?
Because you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see
you...

Sleep well little one.

Envious........

...........of my 4 year old daughter.

She is on holidays from kindy.

I asked her what she would like to do most of all in the holidays. What would be her "best thing" to do in the whole wide world?

"I want to paint things. And do sticking and glueing Mummy. And make things. Pretty things. And do lots of craft too."

God love her, she makes me want to cry, not only becasue she really is the most adorable and earnest and creative four year old little girl I have ever met, but also because I am so envious........

What would I like to do if I ever got lucky enough to have a holiday? What would be my "best thing" to do in the whole wide world?

Make things. Create things. Beautiful things. Crafty painty richly coloured things. Texture and peace.

I have compromised. Olivia and I will create together.

She and I will stick and glue all week.

She will go to art classes with Ruth Tuck.

And Mummy has made her an art smock...........

During Photos........July 2008

Well, some more photos of my journey.

They are not great (Andrew took them with his 'phone camera) but they are better than nothing.

The one of me in the red sweater is in a new work outfit.........

That bloody baby belly is still very evident...........

"That time of the month".........

Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I have a perfect and natural monthly cycle.

It makes me feel good to have a natural rhythm month by month.......it is predictable & a sure sign that my hormones and my body are all working as they should.

And the new age hippy earth mother in me loves the fact that is all connected with the moon and the tides.....

After having three successful pregnancies and giving birth naturally to three beautiful children, dare I say I am actually proud of my body and its female cycle, in as much as it is a thing I do so well.......

BUT, it really DOES make me cranky to see whose scales shoot up just before "that time of the month".

Regardless of how diligent I have been with my food intake, and despite my exerted efforts with exercise, it seems irrelevant 3 days before my period is due, as I know the sales will show me at least 0.5lg heavier regardless!?

Grrrrrrrrrr!

But I am still a goddess, so I guess I'll accept it........and take the "win" in about 6 days time when my body's tidal level returns to normal!

"That type of woman.........."

For a long while, particularly in the area where I live, I have noticed a lot of small groups of women walking. Not just dawdling walking, but walking with purpose for health and fitness.

Often, as I drive round the area I have almost wistfully wished that I was "that type of woman"........with a like minded friend or two, in a cute tracksuit........

Anyway, this morning at 6.30am I met up with a few of my personal training girls.......and we did intervals up through the graval steps of Wadmore, and walked together all around the local area.....in our cute tracksuits.......

And I realise I am beginning to live the life I have wanted for a long while.......

Thank you Terry & Marissa & Bobby & Marissa..........& thank you Lynda.

Mind Hack.......