At Marica's House!

And we are finally sorting out photos that she took of the kids over 2 years ago!

Slack....... but here's an update.....

So slack.

I posted on a friends blog today and it made me realise I haven't posted on here FOR TOO LONG!

Nearly two months.

I honestly have no excuse either, only lack of time, an addiction to Restuarant City on Facebook, and all sorts of other goings on.

So to recap and get myself up to speed, here is where I am at:

1. My weight is stable. I am neither losing or gaining. Whilst this frustrates me, and I wish I could lose more, it is what it is for the moment.

2. I turned 40 last month. Snaps attached here:

3. Olivia started school this term and is now in week 4. She is going great: tired, but loving it. I am so proud of her, and constantly amazed at how cool she is. And how beautiful.

I am exercising like a demon, and I am even running my own intervals now as well.

I am on the lookout for a 5/6km run too. I am running to some C25k podcasts which have inspired me. But for a variety of reasons I don't want to do City to Bay again, so am on the lookout for something else. Watch this space on that one!

I am still not smoking: over 4 months now, so I am proud, so very proud of that. Andrew has quit too, and I am even prouder of him!

So, all good. All happy.

I just need to now look at the next stage and actually look at losing the last 18kg.....................

Exercise March 2009

I lost a lovely 2.1kg last week, so truly feel like I am totally back in the groove.

The weather is gorgeous at the moment and I am in a good place.

I have been spending a fair amount of time on Facebook recently, and so many friends and family have asked how I manage to fit in the exercise I do around the kids.

Here is my current plan:

Monday 6am Group Personal Training (Cardio and Resistance) with Lynda. Home by 7am for a shower and this is about when the kids are waking up. (If they wake earlier, Andrew deals with them and slaps ABC kids on for them with a cup of juice!)

Tuesday 6am Group Interval Training with Lynda: this starts from next term. Again, I know I can be home by 7am.

Tuesday 7pm: Now that Better Bods is coming to an end, I have decided that I will continue to use my Tuesday nights for my fitness and Marisa and I are going to use the time to do "big things" like a huge hill, the Paracourse, a 14km walk etc. Andrew is really OK with being home by 7pm now, and I love the "night off" especially when I know I am getting some great exercise. And a good gossip with Marisa.

Wednesday 6am: Group Personal Training (Cardio and Resistance) with Lynda

Thursday 7.30pm: The solitary run, with my iPod. This is the one I have to really psych myself up for. It is only my iPod and its cheesy 1980's dance tracks that gets me out there in Wadmore Park running round in the dark. BUT, funnily enough, once I have done it, by myself, I feel so inspired.

Friday: This is a hard one as I have to do something around the kids. So usually a session with my fit ball and the DVD fit ball routine, or skipping, as well as Lynda's home Resistance workout. Or I run up and down the track at the back of the house.

Saturday: My day off! Although most Saturdays I will pram push one of the kids down to Target/Foodland, which is a lovely walk, and they love it.

Sunday: This is my "lie in" day when Andrew gets up with the kids and makes them brekky and gets them dressed etc. However, I chose to use this time to walk with Marisa. We meet at 7.30am at Morialta. We walk to the first falls and back, doing the Giants Cave steps on the way, and on the way back. It is one of my favourite times of the week. It is one of my favourite walks.

To be doing such a nice balance of exercise pretty much every day had been a totally alien concept to me up until this past year. I am so so so glad I am finally off my arse really making a difference to my health.

Even if I never lose another gram, this exercise business gives me so much energy, so many happy hormones, so much more of a sense of peace in my heart, so much more love to give to the kids and to Andrew, it is truly worth it. And so much easier than I ever imagined it would be.

And it had changed me from this:

To this:

LOST

At last.

I lost.

I know it is dumb to go by the number on the scales, but I increased muscle mass, lost body fat, gained water weight, but still LOST 0.8kg, which is a perfect perfect result.

Happy.

It is SO sad that those numbers can make or break my mood, but it does.

Hence my mood is brightened.

As it is by the idea of autumn coming. Woooohoo!

Reasons to break through....

This post might be in draft for a while whilst I accumulate all the reasons I can collect to break through this stagnant period.

Intellectually of course I know I want to carry on.

All reason suggests that getting back on a very focused plan is, of course, the best thing to do.

But I think I need to recall some of the more emotionally entrenched reasons to forge ahead.

Here are some of the things that have popped into my head today as I have pottered:

1. I was the one that chose to do this in the first place, against all odds. It was probably the last thing anyone imagined I would ever do, and I know it has seriously ticked some people off. And I'll be frank, it utterly delights me to think that I have the power to rattle those people with something as worthwhile as my personal fitness and appearance! Bring it on I say!

2. I was the one that chose this project. Let me finish it well, finish it on time, and finish it with more applause. I love love love the recognition that losing weight gives me. Big time. Whether it be positive comments from virtual strangers, amazed encouragement from friends, or comforting praise from Andrew, I revel in all those compliments. More please!

3. Conversely, if I chose to give up now, OH MY GOD. I will start putting on weight, which makes me feel sick to my stomach. What a waste that would be. Of time, of effort, of energy. I can only imagine how much sadness and immense regret that would bring me and I truly DO NOT WANT TO GO THERE.

4. Nor do I want to give ANYONE the satisfaction, EVER, of being able to say or think "She couldn't keep it off. I knew she'd stack it back on." Shudder. Cringe. No way.

5. Fitting in the tiny seats in economy and being able to easily put the little flappy table thingo down is a joy. An utter joy.

6. I love getting glammed up with a fake tan and a flattering outfit. Love it. But it's only such fun if I know I am at the best figure I can be.

7. Raunchy sex.

8. More energy in general, for the kids.

9. I have given up smoking for goodness sake. After 26 years of smoking, I am finally a non smoker, which is about the healthiest thing I have ever done in my whole life. So to continue to lose weight on top[ of that is a huge achievement. And I want to bask in the smugness!

10. I have a sad yearning to carry on losing weight so I can go on some cheesy "current affairs" show.

11. I love the smug feeling of going to bed at night knowing I have been a perfect angel with regard to food and exercise & water.

12. I truly love love love the buzz I get from the exercise. More please. And the sense of pride I get from having taking my training to the next level.

13. I love that Andrew is proud of what I have achieved so far, and I so do not want to backslide and risk disappointing him.

14. Charlie and Tom (and a lot of other people to be honest!) haven't seen me skinny yet. I want them to see me even slimmer and be amazed!

More to come, no doubt........

6 weeks and counting down.......

It is just about 6 weeks till my birthday.

My 40th birthday.

I am so pleased with what I have achieved so far.

BUT, I am still not where I want to be.

So I am setting a fairly simple 6 week plan.

5kg in 6 weeks.

Nothing fancy.

Just back to what I know works.

2 litres of water

1200 cals in Calorie King

High protein, low processed carbs

Daily exercise

That's it. So simple.

To be the best I know I can be in time for my birthday. To have no regrets.

Just those 4 tasks per day.

For 6 weeks.

Watch this space.

I will be back soon

So many reasons for posting for over a month.

Some valid, some slack. Some scary, some fun.

But I have been feeling guilty for not posting.

Not sure why?

I will be back soon, promise.

I have at least bookmarked my Blog again.

Faking it........

When in doubt or fear, fake it.

Today I have "got over myself" and focused on controlling what I can.......so have ended up being a domestic goddess of maternal virtue.

There and beyond, blue.

Don't know why.

Cannot sleep.

Cannot talk.

Cannot laugh.

Feel like crap.

Have Dr's appt tomorrow.

Please let this pass soon.

Lucy, Just Do It.

I know what to do, I just need to just do it.

1. Eat right. 1200 calories in my CK split. No extras. Enter it into CK Lucy.

2. Drink 2l of water.

3. Exercise.

It's that simple.

Maybe chuck in some hypnotherapy too, for happy measure.

Maybe writing in this blog helps? Gets me focused, and in the present rather than in holiday denial mode?

But really, if I just do those top three things, I can get this whole weight loss malaise thing off my back? Please?

Grumpy girl.

WHAT IS GOING ON?

We are back from our holidays.

We had a blissful week at Andrew's parents.

I ate like an angel and exercised really well, but still put on weight??

I am not smoking. I have not killed my husband.

I fit into a size 12 cocktail dress with 6 inch strappy heels.

But I feel fat as the scales, damn them, show that I have put on about 4kg????

I feel like I am going mad.

I just want to get back into the weekly grind of training and losing weight each week, not putting it on???

I am off to bed to sulk.

I might have to listen to some hypnotherapy.

Grumpy girl.

Bugger

Bugger

I think I have put on weight.

I felt bloated & fat yesterday, so got on the scales this morning.

Yep.

Off to change my ticker.

First time I have put on weight ever.

Not happy Jan.

Yippee! I am a non smoker!

I am free. Nicbate patch ripped off.

No panic or fear or that awful empty feeling of deprivation.

Free.

Smoked my final fag today. Made me feel as sick as a dog.

No more.

I am actually feeling excited!

I have just read Allen Carr's Easyway to Stop Smoking (It was actually a gift from me to Andrew for Christmas. He got to page 9 and disgarded. I picked it up and read it in an evening.)

I am, based on the advice of the book, going to follow his instructions 100%, so am also giving up the NRT (and the cost of the bloody patches, in $$ and skin rashes.....)

And all I am going to say is hello sweet breath, goodbye certain death, and YIPPEE! I AM A NON SMOKER!

(Note: On doing a Google on Allen Carr I realise that Allen Carr actually died of lung cancer in November of 2006. How sad is that. Not me though.)

Name that song.........

I know it's cheesy, but I love love love it.

I was up at 6am, armed with iPod, ready to do intervals. I ran again this morning, with a dance remix version of this blasting in my ears. And as I came to the top of a hill, a rainbow appeared. No kidding. I felt like crying with joy: how tacky is that?! LOL!

I am gobsmacked at myself that I am enjoying running.

If I could figure out how to have it as a wav file and automatically play when ever someone clicked on this blog, I would!

Who knows what tomorrow brings
In a world few hearts survive?
All I know is the way I feel.When it's real, I keep it alive.
The road is long, there are mountains in our way,
But we climb a step every day.Love lifts us up where we belong,
Where the eagles cry
On a mountain high.
Love lifts us up where we belong,Far from the world below,
Up where the clear winds blow.
Some hang on to "used to be,"
Live their lives looking behind.
All we have is here and now,
All our life, out there to find.
The road is long, there are mountains in our way,
But we climb a step every day
Love lifts us up where we belong,
Where the eagles cry
On a mountain high.
Love lift us up where we belong,
Far from the world we know,
Where the clear winds blow.
Time goes by, no time to cry,
Life's you and I. A life today.

Size 12........

Enough said. I am happy.

The Zoo

Nothing to do with my weight loss, but we had a great morning at the zoo today. (And I resisted hot chips and iced coffee from the kiosk!)

I have moved on.....

........from my desire to cling to my Walkman (cassette, not CD, and no, I am not kidding.)

Andrew bought me this thing (I believe it is called an Ipod?)

So I am dragging myself out of the '80's. (But maintaining a tenuous link by downloading all the '80's dance remixes I can, to run to.)

I spent a "happy" few hours last night attempting to figure it out out with Itunes, but managed it eventually.

And I genuinly WAS happy this morning.

I ditched the kids at childcare and then did interval runs for 5km with my iPod blaring. Let me tell you, the dance remix of the '80's classic "Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong" fair had me sprinting........as a result I am now on a post exercise high..........

Jeez, it is so much easier to just do it in comparison to worrying about not doing it.

The 2009 BellyBelly New Years Body Transformation Challenge is ON!

Last year it got me off to a wonderful start with my weight loss, so the least I can do is run it this year.

I will be using to get get my arse back on track so that I can get to my goal weight by April!

Fat Arse

Enough said. Too much. Of everything.

Will weigh in tomorrow to survey the damage.

So this is Christmas..............

We have had a wonderful couple of days over Christmas. Truly one of my best ever Christmas times.

The kids had an absolute ball, it has been gorgeous weather so their Chrissie Pressie of the "Wade & Shade" pool has been a huge hit.

No stress, just relaxed easy living and spending a lot of time with Olivia, Charlie and Lexie.

And Andrew and I too. He has been amazing over the past week or so.......wrapping, shopping, cooking.......it has been a Christmas of love, laughter and teamwork!